One of my housemates got engaged to his girlfriend during a break between periods. According to him, three things can happen to couples at INSEAD: you get engaged, you break up, you cheat. Mind you, the three are not mutually exclusive. There are rumors of people who have come here with their fiancés, broken up and left INSEAD engaged to someone else. There are rumors of the promiscuous partners who have gotten around while their husbands were spending time in the library. And then there’s reality: people ending 3 or 4 year relationships after being at INSEAD for just 2 Ps. I doubt it’s unique to INSEAD, but it might be something special to do with the changes an MBA brings.
This blog was titled MBA/MRS initially as a joke. When I was leaving my job, I sent a good-bye e-mail to the folks at work saying that I was off to travel the world, learn Spanish, seek a meaningful form of self-expression, but that I would eventually reintegrate myself into society and appease my immigrant parents by going for a dual MBA/MRS degree. It used to be that colleges like Wellesley and Barnard were thought of as finishing schools where girls went to get a History/MRS or a Literature/MRS dual degrees. But today the MBA is the new finishing school for those of us who have failed to get married until now. It was mostly facetiously that I named my blog MBA/MRS.
Shortly after I started the blog, my ex and I got back together for the 5th time in three years and the title of the blog started to feel kind of tacky. So I renamed it to Rant & Ramble while the URL remained the same.
They say… or rather, the boyf was fond of saying, ‘you can put your shoes in the oven, but it don’t make ‘em biscuits.’ Yet our fifth attempt at making biscuits was going wonderfully – and we were even managing to see each other nearly every two weeks – looking at real estate together, discussing parenting strategy, and generally ignoring deeper issues of incompatibility that would eventually percolate to the top. But then I let the stress of P2 and he let the stress of his new job fuck the whole thing. Facebook is a bitch and adds a new dimension to breakups I haven’t yet experienced. This afternoon I saw a newsfeed that informed me that he went from being ‘in a wonderful, fulfilling, lovely relationship’ to being ‘single.’ Ugh. To add insult to injury, I’ve invested the last 4 months into networking, hobnobbing and researching an ndustry of interest in the city where he lives and spent 1300 EUR to start the visa process to move there. Sunk costs…
It’s all quite sad, though the most sad part might be that this is the right thing for both of us.
To make myself feel better I wrote a list of things I want out of life, blew off studying in favor of career strategy reformulation and pinned up my INSEAD Rugby calendar. I hear the ripped and hairless Mr. April has recently become available.
Sorry to hear that. Will buy you a drink if we happen to be on the same campus. Going to Fonty in P3.
I totally agree with what you have to say. The kind of shit I have seen going around…Jesus..this really is a bubble and I dont know what but something really wicked gets into the head of people while at INSEAD. In my section alone I have seen engaged people muck about, long distance relationship not making sense. WTF….I think its all the hormones and frustrations coming into play.
For me, INSEAD had the opposite impact. My relationship grew stronger while being away from my partner. It’s hard to explain but being at INSEAD I realised what a dick I have been to my partner for the last 3 years. Thank god I realised it before she kicked me out !!
Take it easy and good luck with POM. Less than 24 hours and you will have a freaking good reason to get drunk.
Ciao
K
This is why you don’t give any relationship information on Facebook, unless you are married. Because who wants to announce to the whole world that he/she went from being “in a relationship with XXX” to being “single.” It’s like publicly ripping off an emotional band-aid.
:(
I don’t know remember how I came across this blog… but nevertheless I did.
I was at INSEAD in D’06 and it was pretty much the same. Ultimately I think if one looks at it from a broader life – as opposed to a relationship perspective – most people are coming to INSEAD for adventure and excitement in one form or another, but most of all change.
That change is not limited to career change and thus often spills over intentionally or inadvertently into one’s personal life – hence the relationship-busting effect of the experience. Also, with all these relationships torn asunder around you and with the constant party environment – I guess if you make it through the program with your relationship intact, you feel like a relationship rockstar (even though I have my theories and doubts on that anyway).
Either way Facebook and relationships are not a good combination…. it can be downright sickening and you have my sympathy there!
Ultimately I am jealous that you are at INSEAD right now – cause INSEAD rocks! and I wish I could do it again… but alas, now I must return to my real life and get off random blog surfing.
Btw, 3 things
1. When I saw your URL, I thought it was pronounced em-bammers – apparently I was wrong. Haha.
2. Nice site recommendations – esp. Taste Spotting
3. I also read your post on why you write or at least most of it… It also makes for a good interview tool – when you say to “I am interested in the following…” – and now you KNOW I went INSEAD!
[...] With the end of the school year enticingly close, student bloggers generally seemed to be in high spirits. Darden ‘10 Mechanigal may still be looking for an internship, but the great weather and good friends gave her at least one wonderful day. HBS ‘09 Rob went hiking and made a soda pop anaology for hedge funds. LBS ‘10 OutOnALimb also got some distance from campus during a class trip to Italy, where they visited a helicopter plant and partied in a bonafide castle. Darden ‘10 Oren found the perspective of former Mexican president Vincente Fox quite interesting. McDonough ‘09 Hairtwirler ruminated on the influence of Winston Churchill, and didn’t mind being ‘bumped’ from the BoB top three…since she has her upcoming wedding to keep her occupied and excited. Darden ‘10 JulyDream was happy to find herself in the top three as well, but the real fun was her performance in Darden’s Follies. Students weren’t an entirely happy-go-lucky bunch… McCombs ‘10 Paragon2Pieces, was a bit underwhelmed by the change in her class schedule and INSEAD ‘10 MBAMRS considered the toll an MBA program can have on relationships. [...]
Hey! How did I miss this post (been tracking the blog pretty regularly) – must be the dreaded POM exam!
I hope your P2 break was recuperative and glad you’ve pinned up your Rugby Calendar! (who’s Mr. April? Now I must check.)
I went with my family incl. kids and managed to attend most of the parties but NONE of the dinners.
I was looked on with suspicion by most of the cougars in the campus and some of them even moralised me about my party-going. I was classified as ineligible and cougars never wasted a second on me, which was a pity…. cougars are hungry carnivourous insecure creatures who raise men’s ego but not desire.
I spent all the weekend with the family and never at INSEAD. I wish I spend at least a p4 or p5 without a family to appreciate it and taste student life more.